[blind drawing experiment, done to randomly chosen words from The Devil’s Dictionary; Ambrose Bierce ]
- Academy, n. A modern school where football is taught.
- Cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
- Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.
- Circus, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men and women and children acting the fool.
- Envelope, n. The coffin of a document; the scabbard of a bill; the husk of a remittance; the bed-gown of a love-letter.
- Ink, n. A villainous compound…chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime. The properties of ink are peculiar and contradictory: it may be used to make reputations and unmake them; to blacken them and to make them white.
- Abdomen, n. The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with
sacrificial rights, all true men engage. From women this ancient
faith commands but a stammering assent. They sometimes minister at
the altar in a half-hearted and ineffective way, but true reverence
for the one deity that men really adore they know not. If woman had a
free hand in the world’s marketing the race would become
- Abridge, v.t. To shorten.
When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for
people to abridge their king, a decent respect for the opinions of
mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel
them to the separation. Oliver Cromwell