I. acephalous portraits

ONE  Her smile was the same pasty quality that badly baked cupcakes possessed, and one was bound to choke on the excess of flour that crusted her sugary intestines. Of her eyelids: pathos found a home, the same way mascara didn’t. An admirably indispensable habit was made being looked through in the event of any coquettish seduction. As a result, her view of the world comprised entirely of fragmented shards of light squirrelled from between heavy and clotted eyebrow foliage. This epidermis was far from accurate, and the numerous bruises she gleaned on a daily basis (nightclub: rapist) originated from those unfortunate times when pillars coincided neatly with stray lashes. Against such icebergs she was about as adroit and intelligent as the Titanic. This large and jingling visage was carved out of the cheapest sponge-stone; cheeks, lips, brows and bust: pumice without the weight to sink in the thinnest water.

 

TWO  She is always mildly incredulous – a tug on her soft, full abdomen triggered a downpour of recitations, empty stories and bad sex. Life was something to be tripped over; went through and devoured in a series of unfortunate accidents; the two left feet must be forcibly embraced and great care must be taken in spitting first on oneself and then the ground. She belonged to  class of people most at home wielding metal rulers, with all the edge and corner to attack a soft and unprotected cornea- preferably one’s own. Says she: “Lick the toes before the fingers.” – one cannot be sicker, or softer, or hairier if one does not dilate a beat late to the rhythm of life. One must be slow. One must condition rigidness into mind if not by nature, and one must love the society that reflects the same dull laughter upon it.

 
INTERROGATION OF ONE OF ABOVE
What position do you often sleep in? foetal.
Whats your least favourite word?  I don’t know.
What do you think ‘acephalous’ means? ridiculous.
Liquid soap or solid soap? liquid.
Do you like wearing hats? i don’t own any hats.
Digital or analog clocks? analog.
What is the last question you would ask yourself? what am i doing here.